Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Day the Earth Watched Movies

Two awesome movie related things have happened to me since the last movie blog:

Awesome thing number 1:
I joined the Tallahassee Film Society. They show movies at their own little theater called the All Saints Theater and they give you discounts at Miracle Five, our local "indie" theater (Which is owned by Regal, which makes it totally not "indie", but it shows "indie" movies). You also get discounts for the local IMAX theater, which is totally sweet, because I've never seen an IMAX movie and I want to. A lot.

Awesome thing number 2:
I, for some reason, have never taken full advantage of my good friend Lori, who runs the Student Life Theater at the Student life Building at FSU. Lori, prepared to be taken advantage of! She's hooked me up with 2 movie viewings so far, "Meet the Robinsons" and "Shooter". Sweet.


Movies watched in the theatre so far this summer:

Shooter

Knocked Up

Spiderman 3
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Grindhouse (again)

Meet The Robinsons
Paris Je'Taime
Ocean's 13
Waitress


6 in. Golden Sandwich – This is like a thimble full of popcorn that you paid 12 dollars for.
1 Ft. Golden Sandwich – You get a regular size bucket of popcorn, but it turns out to be 3 or 4 kernels and a few pounds of liquid butter "flavoring".
2 Ft. Golden Sandwich – This is like the equivalent of a thermos full of popcorn.

3 Ft. Golden Sandwich – Your pants are full of yummy popcorn.
4 Ft. Golden Sandwich – Oh my god, you have eaten so much popcorn you're about to explode.

5 Ft. Golden Sandwich – Your dead. You ate too much popcorn and you died. That's a good thing!

Shooter:

There is so much shooting and stabbing and stuff blowing up, there's no way this movie could be bad. Or could it? Seriously, though, there is a stab or an explosion or a shot fired in just about every frame, so I have to go with "totally awesome". Or do I? I can't make up my mind. Why don't you watch it for yourself and tell me what you think. Thanks to Lori for hooking us cheap folks up with this flick.
This is the thing, though. Danny Glover is in this movie and for some reason he has braces, which they give no excuse for. They don't give us a reason for the braces. Why didn't they? I don't know. But what your stuck with is a bad guy who has a lisp in a movie called "Shooter", in which he says the words "thooter" and "conthpirathy" and "thniper" and "Thwagger". That's right, he says "Thwagger" a lot. Because the lead characters name is Bob Lee Swagger. What a name! Anyways, Danny Glover walks around saying stuff like "I'm gonna kill Bob Lee Thwagger, if ith the lath thing I do." It's really very funny. It was definitely worth the price of admission: FREE.

2 Ft 6 Inches of Golden Sandwich

Knocked Up:

The crew of people that made this movie are, to me, some of the funniest people on the planet. And they keep getting funnier. You'll notice everyone in Apatow's former projects, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared and 40 Year Old Virgin, among others, are all in this movie and they are all hilarious. They make me want to die. I want to be more funny. I wake up every morning, look at myself in the mirror and say, "You will be funny today. You will make people laugh. Today is your day. DO IT!" It all usually ends in tears, with me watching The Three Stooges while eating a pint of icing and calling in sick to work.

4 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

Spiderman 3:

This was a serious disappointment. I had heard it was bad from many people before seeing it. I really thought that it would help not having high expectations. It didn't. This movie is long and lame. The other two movies are cheesy, but comic book cheesy, which adds to the fun. I think the real problem is Sam Raimi stepped over the cheese line. He crossed into the 'Michael Bay just put another character or explosion in they won't notice that the plot doesn't make any sense whatsoever' line. It was another case of trying to make a sequel bigger and better than before, but losing quality on the way. There is some good fun action, but I would have been better off watching the first two again.
2 Ft. of Golden Sandwich


Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End:

This movie is, like, 8 hours long. I felt like I had to see it, because I'd seen the other two in the theater, but seriously my whole lower half was numb by the time it was over. It goes a little slower than the last one, but there is still some fun action and Johnny Depp is totally hot. Whatever. All three movies are basically interchangeable. That could be seen as a good thing or a bad thing, I guess.
2 FT 6 Inches of Chum Sandwich


Grindhouse (again):

So good. I saw this at the Dollar Theater on 75 cent night. What a deal!

5 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

Meet The Robinsons:

This is a fun, futuristic, Pixar influenced Disney movie. Which is funny because Disney owns Pixar. It's all for the better, though. I would much rather watch this than Brother Bear, Chicken Little or Lilo & Stitch. So, Disney did something right. I would like to have seen this in its 3D format. Lori, get on that.
It's in that 50's "Incredibles" style, with a sense of humor geared towards kids and adults. Don't get me wrong, Pixar movies are better than this and I am very much looking forward to Ratatouille, but it shows me that Disney may be starting to realize there are only so many princesses or Phil Collins soundtracks an audience can take.

3 Ft. of Golden Sandwich


Paris je t'aime:
Around 20 short films all about love stories in Paris. The Directors include, the Coen Brothers, Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run), Gus Van Sant, Alexander Payne (Sideways), Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men), Wes Craven, Walter Salles (Motorcycle Diaries) and many, many more. The stories are great, the short films flow really well together. The stories all have to do with love, but don't they over do it, and, of course some are about unrequited love, which is the best kind of love to make a movie about. It usually includes a lot less sappiness.
4 Ft. of Golden Sandwich


Ocean's 13:

The whole gang is back in Vegas getting revenge for Reuben over a business deal gone bad, that subsequently puts him in a coma(?). I don't know. What I do know is I love these movies and they can keep making them forever as far as I'm concerned. They are light and fun. The definition of a popcorn flick.
3 Ft. 6 Inches of Golden Nugget


Waitress:

This movie made me want pie so bad. This is a fun little non-threatening rom-com, minus most of the rom. It's got good performances by Nathan Fillion, Jeremy Sisto and Keri Russell. She's a pregnant pie-baker, who hates her husband, has an affair with her baby doctor and has a pie for each of life's problems. The pies look so good. I want to eat them. Now, please.

3 Ft. 6 Inches of Pie


There are plenty of movies still to come this summer:

Paprika

Day Watch

Black Sheep

Stardust

The Simpsons Movie

Ratatouille
Sunshine

And so on and so on….

Movies coming up on the Queueueueueueu:

Breach

Lucky # Slevin

13 Tzameti

Vengeance is a Golden Blade

Reds

Woodenhead