Oh, Movies...

It has been too long. Far, far too long. Many things have happened. More things didn't happened. Other things should have happened. My lawn was not mowed and chores were ignored.

Since the last movie blog, my buddy Kirk has moved into our guest room, we bought a Wii, and, due to the 2007 Florida legislative session, I've been ridiculously busy at work and I love to blog at work. All of these things have contributed to me caring very little about blogging. Not that you shouldn't care. You should care a lot.

So, the whole Kirk thing. That guy. He humbles me. He has a vast knowledge of film and film stuff, which puts my knowledge to shame. Actors, writers, directors, directors of photography, choreographers, grips, caterers, he knows'em all. His movie and television collection have taken up many hours of prime blogging time and will continue to take up time until he moves out. At which time I will cry the tears of a baby who has had its pacifier taken away. In this case, the pacifier would be 3 very large cases of DVDs, everyone of which I want to watch. A lot. He also, although he would never want credit for it, has turned me into a (very bad) gamer. Leslee and I are this close (I have my fingers extremely close together) to beating Zelda: Twilight Princess on the Wii. It rules hard. He enjoys ridiculing, he would call it motivating, me while I play video games. I don't mind. He means well. So, yeah, if you don't know him, you should. He rules!

Oh, the Wii. So sweet it is on a crisp morn. I shall play thee 'til my eyes bleedeth and my face melts into my Lazy Boy. How fun you are, with your two controllers and your motion-sensorness. You are a wonder. I shall kiss you when I get home and I shall repeat this process tomorrow.

Onto some movies.

Recently watched:

Hot Fuzz

Grindhouse

Half Nelson

Suspiria (1977)

Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry (1974)

Infernal Affairs 2

You know the drill. The ratings go from 6 Inches of nasty Golden Sandwich to 5 Feet of super tasty fine Golden Sandwich. You can figure out the rest. Needless to say, I have watched 8 hundred million movies since the last blog, these are just some of the most recent.

Hot Fuzz:

Go see this. Go see it now! If you love Shaun of the Dead and you better, you will love Hot Fuzz. It's great. So funny.
Simon Pegg stars as Nicholas Angel, a good cop. Too good, in fact, he makes everyone else look bad, which is why he gets sent to the small town of Sandford, one of the safest places in the world. Almost too safe. Thus comes a series of accidents that he is very suspicious of. He teams up with an action movie obsessed man-child played perfectly by Nick Frost. I won't tell you any more, because you need to see it. NOW!!

4 Ft. 6 Inches of Golden Sandwich

Grindhouse:

Ditto on the going to see this now thing. I'm sure, at this point, you've heard all about this movie and how it's really two movies with fake trailers in between and it didn't do that well in theatres. Well, I'm here to tell you it is the best movie ever in history period and you should go see it twelve times tonight so it will become a hit and they will make a sequel period

It's got everything:

Zombies

Exploding heads

Melting testicles

Testicles in a jar

Car chases

Danger

Severed limbs

KURT RUSSELL

5 Ft of the best Golden Sandwich EVER!!!!

Half Nelson:

Leslee really wanted to see this. She's got a crush on Ryan "It-boy" Gosling. It kinda looked like Dangerous Minds, but Michelle Pfeiffer is a dude and smokes crack. There are a lot of clichés that are in just about every serious drug movie. Gosling is good, but not great and the movie itself is just plain slow.

2 Ft. 6 Inches of Golden Sandwich

Suspiria:

It took a week for me to get through this movie. When I started it, I was home sick from work and Kirk wasn't feelin' too hot, either. We popped this in and right when this blind guy gets his throat eaten buy his seeing eye dog, Kirk has a seizure. Officially making this the SCARIEST MOVIE EVER!! Kirk is good now. We finished the movie a week later. He didn't have a seizure that time.

P.S. If you fall into a room full of razor wire, you will die.

3 Ft. 6 Inches of Golden Sandwich

Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry:

This was mentioned a couple of times in Grindhouse so I had to see it. It stars Peter Fonda as Larry, who just so happens to be crazy, and Susan George (Straw Dogs) as Mary. Mary is extremely dirty. Not in the title is their accomplice Deke, played by Adam Roarke. He is neither crazy, or dirty, he's kinda quiet. I guess "Quiet Deke" isn't really title character material. The story is simple: rob grocery store, get chased a lot. It's great. Fun action. Good ending.

4 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

Infernal Affairs 2:

This is the sequel to Hong Kong flick Infernal Affairs, which was remade into "The Departed". It was good, but I wasn't quite as enthralled as I was for the first one or The Departed. At parts it felt a little too similar to the original.

There are two cops, one is undercover in an organized crime ring, the other is undercover for the mob as a cop. The second story seems to get distracted by a lame love story they tried to shove in there to soften it up a bit. It's worth a watch, but the first one is better.

3 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

Coming Up in the queueueueue:

Ichi the Killer

Survival Quest

Dust Devil

Shattered Glass

Battlestar Galactica Season 2 (Another Kirk-influenced pick)

Movies I want to see in the theater sometime soon:

Spiderman 3

Black Sheep

Knocked Up

Paprika

The Simpsons Movie

Ratatouille

Stardust