Movies I've Watched-n-Stuff

So, last week kinda sucked, then the weekend was okay, then this week has started off kinda suckin' again. My buddy Kev, from work, is leaving. I went to the doc and found out that I have a heel spur, which explains why my foot has been hurtin', and he told me that my blood pressure is about to burst through the top of my skull. I just hope that I can catch it on film, so I can put it on YouTube. Leslee and I went to Jacksonville and celebrated my sister and brother-in-law's birthdays at Dave & Buster's. We also ate some cheese with some friends who were totally awesome enough to let us stay at their place. It was tight. In between all of that I watched a crap load of movies!

6 in. Golden Sandwich – They licked your sandwich. GROSS!!
1 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They sneezed somewhere within the vicinity of your sandwich.
2 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They looked at your sandwich funny.
3 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They used gloves!
4 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They used gloves and you got the cute little toothpicks with the frilly things on top.
5 Ft. Golden Sandwich – This is a magic sandwich, it made itself. There is no room for human error.

Movies Watched:
Nine Lives
Code 46
The Departed
Hard Candy
Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill
7up, 7 plus 7, 21up, 28up (4 whole movies – holy crap!)
My Favorite Year
The Man Who Would Be King
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
My Architect: A Son's Journey


Nine Lives:
Nine stories about nine ladies who live all sorts of tragic lives. There's the
one who has buck teeth and webbed feet who's pet gerbil doesn't love her
anymore and this other one has, like, 48 cats and so on and on. They are all
very tragic. Seriously, though, there are, like, a million people in this movie.
To many to name. There are some good performances and some not so
good. Maybe you should rent it, see how many famous people you can
name and cry a little bit. It'll be good for you.
3 Ft. of psychologically abused Sandwich

Code 46:
This stars Tim Robbins, the cutest person on planet Earth, Samantha
Morton, and is directed by Michael Winterbottom, who I have found as a
pretty interesting guy. He seems to enjoy switching around genres, styles
and actors. Code 46 is a futuristic drama about and investigator (Robbins)
who is searching for a forger ( Morton). They meet and hang out and end
up doing some stuff together. What I liked most about the Movie is that
they don't just lay everything out for you. This future has different slang,
sayings, and names for things and you just kind of figure it out as the movie
proceeds The languages and races are less distinguishable. Jar Jar Binks
also makes an appearance.
3 Ft. of Futuristic Gold Plated Sandwich

The Departed:
When I heard that Martin Scorsese was remaking the Japanese crime
drama "Infernal Affairs", I was super excited. It's the perfect project for
him. Gangsters, cops, good story and plenty of death. I really think this is
his best movie since "Goodfellas", and it actually made me want to watch
"Goodfellas" again…so I did…and that made want to watch "Jackie
Brown" for some reason…so I did. Then I watched "Pulp Fiction". It's just
a long vicious cycle. Matt Damon, who I'm not a big fan of, is tolerable.
My only complaint in the acting department came from Mark Wahlberg and
Martin Sheen, who are playing a game of "good cop, bad cop" through the
whole movie and don't have a lot of chemistry. Then there is Jack
Nicholson. My prediction is that Jack Nicholson will win an Oscar for his
role as an Irish mob boss and Martin Scorsese will finally receive a much
deserved Best Director statue. I could have lived without the love triangle,
but without it you would probably be able to actually see the testosterone
oozing from the screen.
4 and half Ft. of Golden Sandwich

Hard Candy:
So, there's this guy who's name is Jeff and he may or may not be a
pedophile. Then there's Hayley, who may or may not be a totally psycho
fourteen year old with a chip on her shoulder. When these two meet up,
who knows what can happen!? This is one of those movies that makes your
face contort in all sorts of strange ways. I ended up actually speaking in a
higher octave for about three days after seeing it. It's worth a watch.
4 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill:
This reminded me of, like, a mid-seventies National Geographic special, or
something. Maybe Jacques Cousteau's commentary would say something
like "Luke at zee way zee burdz poop". They even had some atrocious
new-age crap-rock for a soundtrack. Nonetheless it's a fun non-threatening
little documentary about a flock of "wild" parrots at San Francisco's
Telegraph Hill and the Hobo-like dude that feed them and doctor's them
up. You should watch it if you like birds and crap.
3 Ft. of Chicken Sandwich (we all know that parrots hate chickens)

7 Up series (7, 14, 21, 28):
These are the first 4 movies in Michael Apted's long-running documentary
series about a group of English kids in different classes of society. Every 7
years a movie is made updating us on all of their successes, failures and
British accents. The first movie is only about a half an hour and is total
chaos. The others get longer as the kids get older, following up on
questions asked in the previous movies, while also showing previous
answers. Did I mention that they all have adorable accents? Some of
them quit the series as they get older. Some of them continually say stupid
crap and apologize in the following movie. They are definitely worth
checking out.
4 and a Half Ft. of Golden Sandwich (Which I will eat a bite of every 7
seconds)

My Favorite Year:
This stars Peter O'Toole as a drunken, out of control movie star who is
supposed to perform in a live variety show and the guy (Larry Appleton
from Perfect Strangers) who is given the task of following him around to
make sure everything goes alright. Stuff happens and then every learns a life
lesson.
2 Ft. of Golden Bartokomous Sandwich

The Man Who Would Be King:
It would be totally sweet if I went somewhere and they'd never seen fat,
hairy white guys before and they thought I was some kind of god and they
fed me things and got me stuff and I could sit around and watch movies all
day while they gave me foot rubs and trimmed up miscellaneous hairs such
as back, knuckle and eyebrow… oh, wait… That's why I got married.
3 Ft. Of Golden Sandwich

I sincerely apologize to everyone for this review. Under these
circumstances I totally understand if you are compelled to unsubscribe from
my blog. I will not be offended.
5 Ft. of Apologetic Sandwich

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby:
This review is sponsored by Home Depot.
Unlike the previously reviewed Will Ferrell movie "Kicking and
Screaming", this movie actually has some funny parts. It's interesting how
similar the character of Ricky Bobby is to his George W. Bush impression
on SNL. The biggest laughs for me came from Ricky's arch nemesis, the
gay Frenchman Jean Girrard, played by Sacha Baron Cohen. The beautiful
thing is that this movie brings together all the NASCAR fans and the
people who make fun of them, such as myself, and has them laugh, side by
side. I just hope they know, now that they've seen this movie, how dumb
they look.
3 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

My Architect:
Emphasis on the "My". The architect referred to here is Louis Kahn, who
liked the ladies, and had three families, all at one time, with one child in
each family. He was only married to one of the ladies, but damn that guy
was a playa. Anyways, the dude that made this was one of his illegitimates
and obviously wants a little time in the spotlight. Hence, the "My" in the
title. It is an interesting story, though, one that no one would really care
about if his pops wasn't famous, but he's got lots of pictures of pretty
buildings and things in there too, if that's the sort of thing that you like.
2 Ft. 6 inches of Golden Sandwich

I've also been watchin' some "My Name is Earl" on DVD and it rules!