Movies-n-Stuff: Director's Cut

We had a good weekend, chillin' out and stuff. We went swimming and walked around and just generally relaxed. This might be my last Movies-n-stuff for a little while. We have to go to Jacksonville this weekend and next weekend we're in Orlando. Not that anyone cares anyway. Whoa is me.

Movies watched:

War of the Worlds

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

Soldiers Pay

Forbidden Zone

Save the Green Planet!

North Country

Clerks 2

War of the Worlds: I figured I would review the best first. That was hard to even think with a straight face. This movie is so clichéd it makes me want to rip Spielberg's toenails out. The ending nearly made me puke all over my television. The only saving grace was the aliens. They were pretty alright. They killed a lot of people. That's good, I guess. Although, I can't understand why they are limited to human senses to find people (and ultimately shoot them or shove them up a huge alien ship sphincter). Don't you think a race of aliens who can fly around and kill people with lasers and are all chromed up and stuff, would have heat sensors or something?

House on Haunted Hill (1959): Vincent Price stars as Fredrick Loren, millionaire playboy, who has offered 5 guests an opportunity to receive $5,000 dollars a piece to stay at a haunted house for a night. There aren't a whole lot of special effects, which makes the movie better. Vincent Price is great. Definitely worth a watch.
The 1999 remake isn't quite as good (as a matter of fact, its bad), even though its tagline is "Evil loves to party". It does have a young, hot Taye Diggs, though.

Soldier's Pay: This was supposed to be an extra on a special edition DVD of David O. Russell's "Three Kings". The studio wouldn't put it on there, so he released it on it's own. It's only 35 minutes with not many extras, except some extended scenes and bonus footage. A documentary about American soldiers and some Iraqis dealing with both Iraq wars. A lot of the people in this film were actors in "Three Kings", the most interesting being twins who differ on the invasion. The biggest chunk deals with a few soldiers who actually found 760 million dollars in a couple of houses in Iraq and the aftermath of their find, which is kind of like something they dealt with in Three Kings. This was definitely enjoyable.

Forbidden Zone: I beg you, please don't do any drugs before watching this. Or, maybe you just shouldn't watch it at all. Either way, the filmmakers were on enough drugs at the time, where you will probably feel a contact high. I know I did.
Have you ever heard of the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo? They were an early version of the band Oingo Boingo. They had a huge stage show, with tons of costumes and props and naked ladies. This is the movie version of that show, most of which takes place in the sixth dimension, where topless princesses, human-size frogs, and dry humping, are an often occurrence. Danny Elfman stars as the devil, doing an Al Jolson impression. The music is great. Way better than Oingo Boingo ever was. I suggest you think about this movie for a few days before watching it. Better yet, rent it, let is sit there on top of your DVD player for, like, a week. If you still want to watch, than do it.

Save the Green Planet!: This is the most schizophrenic movie I've ever seen. Its a comedy, then it's a horror, then its a detective whodunit flick. It's crazy! So there's this guy who thinks there are aliens on Earth and they look just like humans. He thinks the head of a chemical company is the leader of the aliens, so he kidnaps him. Is the guy a drug-crazed maniac, or is there something to his delusions? You have to find out by watching this movie! There are some close to unbearable torture scenes, but its worth it. Those Koreans sure do know how to make a torture scene. The main character is amazing, he goes from handsome to nuitzoid in, like, a second. If you enjoy conspiracy theories, tight rope walking, torture, 2001: A Space Odyssey, or death by bees, than this is your movie!

North Country: This is about the first successful class action sexual harassment lawsuit. It stars Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Frances Mcdormand, Sissy Spacek and Sean Bean. It does a good job getting you ticked off about the whole sexual harassment thing, with the gross dudes putting bodily fluids in places other than the toilet and generally being gross. If the whole movie had been just that, it would have been great. Everyone would have stood up together and been, like, "Hey, We must do something about this harassment thing thats been goin' around". But, no, instead they put the sappiest ending EVER on this thing. I was screaming at my television, cursing Charlize's name, and guess what? Now Im pro-harassment. I can't help it. This movie drove me to it. Some people are into sappy endings. I'm not one of them.

Clerks 2: So, Leslee and I were kinda split on this movie. I thought it was funny and had some slow parts. She thought it was slow and had some funny parts. This is my blog, so I trump her. The funny parts are very funny. I haven't laughed out loud this much at the theater in a while. Probably not since I saw Mission Impossible 2. The slow parts are kind of unbearable. There was one scene that seemed to go on for, like, twenty minutes, and was just not funny at all. I think that's because Kevin Smith act as his own editor. He should probably get some outside opinion on that crap. Anyways, I really think Randal saves the movie. He's such a smart-ass. I really don't know why this guy hasn't become more famous. He's like every sidekick in every movie that the Frat Pack has put out. His compact interpretation of the Lord of the Rings trilogy is classic.

Movies Acquired:

Apocalypse Now Redux

Fugazi: Instrument

Natural Born Killers

The Naked Cosmos (TV)

Secret Lives of Dentists

Down With Love

Up next on the Queueueueueueuue:

Murder By Death (1976)

Why Dogs Smile and Chimpanzees Cry

Brick

Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 5)

Bartleby

Hopscotch (1980)