Movies-n-Stuff-n-Stuff

So, this was a crazy weekend. We went down to Orlando and met my new nephew for the very first time. His name is Josiah and he has what some of us were calling “Old Man-Face”. He’s also extremely cute and cuddly. I realized this weekend that I am happiest when I am around a big group of little kids who like to climb on you, scratch your face and ram you with their little tiny (but very hard) heads. Seriously, it’s not nearly as fun when adults do these sorts of things. Those short little people, even the ones who are scared of me, just put a smile on my face. I also wanted to talk about one of my weaknesses in life. I will watch ANY movie. This is something that I try to control, but don’t have much success. This explains why I watched 20 to 30 minute portions of both “The Dukes of Hazard” (the movie) and “Captain Ron” (Mature Thomas will be very proud) on cable this weekend. It also explains some of the movies I watched over the last week. I am powerless.

6 in. Golden Sandwich – They forgot the meat! (or meat substitute)
1 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They forgot the bread!
2 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They forgot cheese!
3 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They added extra mustard, for free!
4 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They added extra cheese, for free!
5 Ft. Golden Sandwich – They added extra meat (or meat substitute), for free! You got the hook-up!!


Movies Watched:
Monsturd
Kicking and Screaming (Not that one, this one)
The Science of Sleep
The In-Laws (1973)
The Island

Monsturd
Genre: Crappy (oh no, I didn’t)
Every once in a while a movie comes along that makes you reevaluate the way you look at life. It comes along and makes you realize that your dreams can become reality and that reality is going to be awesome. It takes you places you never wanted to go and when you get there you realize it’s the only place you’ve ever really wanted to be. In other words this movie is turdific.
2 Ft. 6 Inches of Big Monster Turd Sandwich.

Kicking and Screaming
Genre: Horrendous News Bears
This is “Kicking and Screaming” with Will Ferrell and Robert Duvall. I think I may have forced out a snicker or two in the first half, but during the second half of this movie I was rendered completely laughless. I don’t understand how talented people end up in movies like this. It’s no “Monsturd” that’s for sure.
1 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

The Science of Sleep
Genre: Dreamy
This had a lot to live up to. Michel Gondry is one of favorite directors, for movies and music videos. I have watched both “Eternal Sunshine” and “Human Nature” many many times, and really enjoyed “Dave Chappelle’s Block Party”. I gotta tell you, it really lived up to my expectations. This seems to me like the kind of movie Gondry really wants to make. The whole thing felt like a stream of consciousness. There’s not really much of a story, just a boy and a girl who have crushes on each other but can’t seem to get it together enough to really enjoy each other. Gael Garcia Bernal plays Stephane, the real troublemaker in the relationship. Stephane confuses his dreams with reality and vice versa, and this is where Gondry really shines. The dream sequences are great, full of creativity and stop-motion animation. I should stop now before this starts sounding too much like a real movie review.4 Ft. 6 Inches of Golden Sandwich

The In-Laws (1973)
Genre: Columbo
Starring Alan Arkin and Peter Falk as soon to be in-laws meeting for the first time. Peter Falk, unbeknownst to his family has some crazy schemes a-brewin’ and takes his soon to be in-law along for the ride. There are a few slow parts, but for the most part is great! Alan Arkin is a master comedian and Peter Falk plays a perfect untrusting shady character. If only these fine actors were still alive. That would be great.4 Ft. of Golden Sandwich

The Island
Genre: Bozo the Clone
So, I was at Blockbuster the other day and they had a 4 for $20 sale on some used DVDs and I was like, “Don’t mind if I do”. So, anyway, I had 3 movies, one of which was “Monsturd”, and I was looking for a fourth. It was kinda slim pickins, and then I noticed a copy of “The Island”. I had read plenty of mixed reviews, which is good for a big ol’ action flick directed by Michael “Testosterone” Bay. Usually his reviews are down right awful. So, I picked it up and was on my way. Then I made the mistake of actually watching it. It sucks.1 Ft. 6 inches of blown-up Sandwich

Coming Up in the Queueueueueueue:
Seven Up/7 Plus Seven
Hard Candy
Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill
My Architect
What the Bleep Do We Know
Sore Losers
Fail-Safe
Battle Royale